Self Psychology Page | Intersubjective Systems Forum
Recently my daughter, Stephanie, a high school senior, wrote a paper offering a psychoanalytic interpretation of Equus, in the form of a clinical report from Alan Strang’s psychiatrist. I found her interpretation to be so beautifully reasoned that I, proud papa that I am, wanted to share it with colleagues. Although Stephanie does not make explicit reference to theory, you will see that her formulation is highly compatible with the perspectives of self psychology and intersubjectivity theory. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Never in all my years of psychoanalysis have I encountered such a compelling case as this. I have been treating a seventeen-year-old guilty of blinding six horses. Through careful analysis, I have developed a theory for what caused the boy to commit his atrocious crime, including the series of events leading to his mental instability.
His mother has been the dominant provider of education throughout Alan’s childhood. Beginning in his early years, she would read to him aloud by his bedside nightly. Alan’s ears were frequently drilled with the story of Prince the horse. Mrs. Strang informed me on how Alan loved it when she would take on the voice of Prince as she read, "Only my young Master can ride me! Anyone else I’ll throw off!" Nightly readings of the Bible also took place. In fact, Mrs. Strang shared with me one particular story that she used to tell Alan about, involving Christian cavalry, and how upon their arrival in the New World, horse and rider were thought to be one supreme being by the awestruck pagans. She informed Alan that not until a rider was seen falling off his horse was it recognized that the two were separate. Hearing this story introduced Alan to the idea of the horse as a stately god-like figure. Mrs. Strang also acquainted Alan with the word "equus", Latin for horse, which became the name of his god. Furthermore, Alan was taught what little he knew about sex by his mother, who claims to have taught him not only the biological facts, but how she believes sex to be a wondrous spiritual unification, willed only by God. Hence, "his task", as declared by his mother, was to ready himself for this monumental event. And afterwards, he might find the ultimate love.
The relationship between Alan and his father is practically nonexistent. Alan’s father does not believe in religion and therefore completely disagrees with his wife’s fanatical indoctrination of their son. However, Mr. Strang makes no effort to do anything about the situation. In fact, instead of trying to free Alan from his mother’s grip, Mr. Strang causes Alan shame and lowers his self-esteem. The reticent printer also takes things away from Alan which are enjoyable to him. He forbids him to watch television, indeed won’t allow a television set in the house, although his mother allows him to sneak off to a neighbor’s house to watch Western movies. His father also tore down an admittedly macabre picture of Christ, which was hanging over his bed. This gruesome rendering of the martyred Jesus on the road to Calvary was replaced with a poster of a horse. However, the prime example of Mr. Strang’s intruding on something which Alan enjoyed occurred on a very significant day. This was on the day of Alan’s first experience with a horse.
The Strang family took a day trip to the beach, and as Alan was playing in the sand, he was approached by a man on a horse. Alan looked up into the horse’s face, quite as he looked up to the image above his bed, and was offered a ride by the stranger. Alan accepted, and the thrilling ride initiated his sexual association with horses. He told me how the experience was sexy for him, how he was being pushed up on the horse’s neck, while the sweat from the horse coursed down his legs. He felt a oneness with the horse, which was abruptly and cruelly destroyed by his father, when he angrily yanked Alan off the horse.
Alan told me of his many secret experiences thereafter with horses. He would visit the stables every three weeks late at night and take the horses out. He took them to a particular field, which he calls the horse’s place of "Ha Ha". His mother had read to him about horses in the Bible, and one particular line from the Book of Job influenced him: "He saith among the trumpets, Ha ha." In this field, Alan would ride the horse completely naked at breakneck speed. These excursions were the only sexually associated experiences Alan had undergone before he met Jill.
Alan’s date with Jill catapulted his mental breakdown. Another example of Mr. Strang’s ruining something enjoyable for Alan occurred in the movie theater that night, when Alan was watching a pornographic film with Jill, and his father walked in and saw him. Once again, Mr. Strang caused Alan a sense of shame. Talking to Alan about his date with Jill, I learned of how he was sweetly seduced by her. Jill brought Alan to the stables, where she began to initiate manipulating him into having sex. Initially, Alan was very enthusiastic about the act with Jill. However, in the end, he was unable to go through with the act, because although he was with Jill, he could only see Equus, and he could not feel her flesh, but only a horse’s hide.
It is apparent to me that Equus, associated with God, in the boy’s feverish, lively imagination is a link to Alan’s mother. Because Alan is essentially rejected by his father, his mother is the dominant figure for him to look up to and seek guidance from in his life. In fact, his lack of a relationship with his father strengthens the Oedipal tie between Alan and his mother, and gives her more power over him. Alan visits his field of "Ha Ha" as a means of feeling both a transcendental or spiritual and a sexual form of oneness with Equus, which is in turn with God, and in turn with his mother. Just as Prince is faithful only to his master, Alan feels he must be faithful to Equus, which is why his having sex with Jill would have been an act of such unmitigated heresy for him. For Alan, doing so would have been a betrayal of Equus, God, and his mother. In actuality, the act represents Alan’s growing up, his becoming independent and autonomous. Mrs. Strang obviously does not want Alan to grow up, whether she admits it or not. When Alan sensed Equus watching him with Jill, it was a symbol of the constant maternal authority looming over him. By blinding the horses, Alan was inherently trying to free himself from the grip of his mother. He was fighting for his own development, independence, and his right to grow up.