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From: Paula Fuqua
Date: 07 Jul 1997
Time: 23:49:36
I think the question of how traumatic and how repairable a rupture between therapist and patient is depends on the overall capacity of the patient to work through disappointments. This is partially based on how "good enough" the relationship with the therapist has been in the past. If there have been other ruptures that have been worked through satisfactorily, the patient may have confidence that this one could be even if, in fact, that doesn't actually happen. If there is not such a basis of experience in the past, either with the therapist of with other important people in the patient's life, then a rupture without acknowledgment and the reconstitution of attunement could be ongoingly destructive. Often part of what people learn in therapy is how to "make up" after a rupture, and eventually, in the context of the usually good enough experience, how to forgive. After all, every therapist has limitations which will show up one way or another. Not all of them will be "repaired" and yet the treatment can be very successful. I wish I could go back over what I have written to see what I said and reflect, but I don't know how to scroll back, so here are my thoughts, off the top of my head.