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From: Ernest Wolf
Date: 05 Jul 1997
Time: 00:58:40
Indeed, it is one of the major advances in selfpsychology since Kohut that we are talking less about selfobjects and more about selfobject experiences. It is becoming increasingly clear that what counts is the experience and not so much what or who brought it about. If we look at selfobject experiences from the point of view of a developmental line we see that all individuals from birth to death need certain experiences, such being affirmed, recognized, etc., forms of mirroring. But the way such mirroring experiences come about has a developmental line. The first mirroring experiences are almost alwayys provided by the mother who cares, whose tone of voice is lovingly soothing, to whom the baby is a light in her eyes which is seen by the infant. At a late stage of development others, such as the father, siblings, other family members can perform the mirroring function and provide the needed mirroring experiences. In general one can say that the providers become multiple, each has a more diluted influence ny themselves alone, the time in length and frequency decreases for the needed experience, etc. Sometime around late latency or early adolescence but sometimes even later, another factor comes in, namely the increasing capacity to symbolize. More and more symbolic and abstract object can provide the selfobject experiences that formerly required a living person to be present as the provider. For example, some people can get selfobject experiences from characters in novels or other stories, from dramas, from art, especially graphic art, paintings, etc. Music is an even more abstract "object" that can provide very intense selfobject experiences, as are ideas, religion, work experiences when satisfyingly achieving, etc.