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From: Ernest Wolf
Date: 24 Jun 1997
Time: 22:26:00
Response to Jean Fitzpatrick: 1. True self vs different selves. I suspect that disagreements such as Mitchell’s are due to different definitions for the same word (e.g., self) that is being used. In my metalanguage I rarely use the words True Self. Developmental theory in self psychology describes the emergence of an organization of selfobject experiences. We call this organization of selfobject experiences the self. Note that this a description of a subjectivity, i.e., of how something is experienced. This is our definition of a self. Theoretically since no two people have exactly the same experiences there can be only different selfs for every individual. Individuals have many experiences starting from before birth as soon as the Central Nervous System can receive stimuli and communicate them to the brain. Some of these stimuli are plain sensory from the 5 senses. Others are more complicated, such as affects and objects. Most of these have no effect on the readiness to organize out of these stimuli a sense of self. But some of these very complex experiences are organized by the brain into giving the individual a sense of self. These complex experiences that evoke and maintain a sense of self we call selfobject experiences (an awkward term but I think we are stuck with it. Historically it is derived from the earliest observations that certain objects provided experiences that resulted in the emergence of a self). 2. When selfs (=sense of self) first emerge during early months they are very fragile. In other words, the organization of the earliest selfobject experiences is fragile and not strong or cohesive. The early selfs will emerge, then disappear again. During the early years innumerable organization of selfobject experiences will form innumerable different selfs depending on the given inherent propensity to organize and on the different kinds of selfobject experiences that the inherent readiness to organize interacts with. Much depends also on the overall ambience or milieu that dominates the child’s environment, e.g., empathic vs. non-empathic, affirmative vs non-affirmative, etc. As time goes on and the child’s experience accumulates the emerging selves gradually become stronger, richer, more cohesive, less fragile, more expressive of the individuals talents and developing skills. Some of those early selfs are totally discarded because they find no response or use. Others are strengthened by being continuously enhanced through new and suitable selfobject experiences. Finally, at some point in adolescence or youth one self gains so much strength out of the selfobject ambience plus the maturing development of the brain that this self becomes so strong and cohesive it no longer becomes disorganized and remains in this final cohesive, balanced, energetic etc. form. That is the self this person will experience as his/her self throughout life. From then on it will take more or less severe trauma to injure or to disorganize (=fragment) this self. Remember, the self is an organization of experiences and can become disorganized in traumatic conditions. 3. Rage: We recognize two types of anger or rage but no inborn instinctual aggression. A self has various aims and goals, e.g., for biological needs like food, warmth, air etc., for psychological needs like further selfobject experiences to maintain the self organization, for expressing its talents and skills, etc. When achieving these aims is blocked (=frustrated) the self responds by pulling itself together in an aim-directed action with positive force and affect, often angry affect. You all know how you feel when frustrated and how one can angrily pull oneself together. When the aim is finally achieved the anger dissipates ad an experience of more or less calm accomplishment ensues. 4. Narcissistic rage is a horse of a different color. Sometimes conditions occur which make a person feel totally helpless and powerless. This is an unbearable experience and results in that individual’s unlimited rage to destroy - destroy any opponent, anyone who is not for me is against me, destroy the world, etc. Unfortunately, this narcissistic rage does not disappear when the helplessness or powerlessness have disappeared. Rather, this type of rage goes on, and on, and on, and only very gradually sort of wears itself out. Very dangerous, particularly when whole groups are involved in acting out narcissistic rage. See Bosnia, the Congo, the Holocaust(s), etc. 5. Good psychotherapy in self psychology is neither wimpy nor too supportive. The therapist tries to understand how the patient is experiencing but need not experience the same him/herself. Empathy is not sympathy. Disruptions are experienced by both participants as more or less painful and the therapist in accepting responsibility for the disruptions is not being wimpy but exposing him/herself to all kinds of disagreeable repercussions. The aim always is to understand each other because being understood strengthens the self which is the goal of treatment.